Uivo do Além, Poeta daqui - H. Stavale
De longe é possível ouvir, seu uivo do além. O poeta desce as ruas com uma garrafa na mão e o cigarro no bico. A noite está fria e silenciosa. A rua deserta. Só o vento corta seus cabelos assoviando e a pálida luz da lua cheia no céu ilumina seu caminho
O poeta para, senta-se em uma sargeta qualquer, e tira seu caderno de anotações e caneta de seu casaco. Olha para cima e reconhece o semblante que se desenha na lua. Sua musa das mil faces se revela novamente.
Sem perceber, a caneta já está escrevendo sozinha, suas mãos escrevem freneticamente: hora suaves, hora apertando com força o caderno. Cinzas caem sobre o caderno. O poeta da um gole profundo ainda olhando para cima. Está estasiado com o que vê. A Deusa começa a dançar enigmática e delicadamente à lua cheia. Um cosmo divino irradia de seu ser e envolve a lua misticamente. O poeta está em transe, e a caneta não para.
Outro gole. Cores rodam graciosamente como plumas em volta da bailarina lunar, atriz da poesia dançante, em uma espiral de epifanias e dejavus de lembranças doces e conforto d’alma são sentidas pelo poeta. De olhos arregalados e levemente marejados, algo acontece. Uma luz de coloração violeta emana o poeta, em forma de lobo e ascende para os céus euforicamente. Não sabendo mais se está lúcido ou em louco delírio, o poeta cai estasiado para trás e ali deitado observa tudo
Sua alma de lobo, se aproxima da musa, que lhe estende a mão gentilmente. O lobo, agora cinzendo tem semblante de paz junto à deusa que lhe acaricia a cabeça. Cores os circulam como uma espécie de Aurora Boral. Ambos então miram lá de cima o poeta deitado no chão, e com um aceno de cabeças e olhar penetrante, se dissipam lentamente na noite.
Outra poesia está transmutada em sua vida. A parte que será contada e passada para esse mundo está pronta no caderno. A outra parte, gravada em sua alma para sempre. Sonho lúcido ou lúdico delírio, jamais saberemos, porém é certo que sua alma metamorfoseada está.
Day 7 - Whom do You Miss the Most?
I won’t say either about friends I no longer talk or see nostalgicaly speaking or part of my family whom have passed away and I miss so dearly or about old lovers and their sweet memories and lessons in my life. No… this post is about a part of me, the one I miss the most…
I was for sure alot more naive and open hearted to almost everything or everyone that opened their arms to me and wanted to embrace me. But not being that way anymore made me build high walls and defences and by protecting me I now end up hurting others feelings and closing myself to now experiences and adventures.
See, when I wander back to the past I look at myself as a much more of a dreamer than I am now. I mean, I am still a dreamer, but I feel passion for doing the things I really love is fading each day, and in those days it was much stronger. With this, creativity lapses and “perpetum-inertia” are becoming more frequently. Seem like I’m losing my essence, and I don’t want this to happen…
I might be mixing all my feelings and thoughts about this world we live in. This umbalanced system with no oportunities, with no respect, corruption, greed… I might be trying to find the utopia I so hard believed in the past, and that I still believe (peace, love and art everywhere) and by not finding it, weaking my flame and passion for the things I love…
This experiment is been really important to me, and I have faith I’ll find myself again… I can already feel a dayly progress (about relationships and interactions with others, trying to be optimistic and my love of the arts, specialy music!) though it’s re-growing really slowly… It’s important. This is who I am. My spirit. The goal is to feel complete again.
Day 6 - What do you Love the Most About Yourself? (Had no time at all to post it in time, busy weekend).
Well, this is one of my favourite images I ever discovered. Wish I had paid attention to the artist’s name… I think that the idea that defines my spirit: “Reality is not my business”
That kind of insanity keeps me sane in this world we live. Even been really introspective, there is this creative side inside of me. I simply “warp” to another dimension/world. My sweet escape.
Also, I like seen things for it’s “artistic existence”. That’s a funny yet interesting point of view in my opinion, and also a curse. I’ll judge almost everything as if it was in and “art contest”, but only for this. ot only music, drawing, sculptures, but people, things and acts. Really wierd some would say, but that’s mostly how I feel the world around me.
Day 5 - Whom do you love? Why? Write a letter to tell Them. (Oh, I’m late again).
Not sure about how to answere this quetion. Don’t hink I’m in love right now. And also, writting a letter talking about how I love my family and few real true friends would sound really cheesy (yet they already know!).
Maybe I’m trying to be in love, I feel like I’m always searching for love, a Heart of Gold, which I can trust and open myself completely and that would make me feel like I was travelling across the universe and seeing stars. (and I told I didn’t want to be cheesy hahaha… I’m a silly dreamer!) But I know I’ll only be able to reach “further galaxies” with someone if first I love myself.
I won’t pretend I’m all satisfied with my life and really confortable with myself, so I’ll (try) to write a short letter to Whom might cross my way someday and have a relationship with:
Dear future my Love,
I’m glad I could find you. I really appreciate being with you. I know you’ll be kind to me, and if you are really in love with me, will be all faithful, lovely and sweet. We shall have the greatest adventures together, and trust each other with our hearts. I’m pretty sure you will support me in my art and all moments in life with all your heart, being by my side, no matter what.
But you’ll see that I also have many (many) faults that you might regret a few sometimes (hope this can be solved before we the day we finally meet!). Util then, I’ll let you know that I’m really stubborn and sometimes selfish. You will feel like living with a cat: sometimes I’ll be really distant, and sometimes I’ll try to draw your attention by all means. I really love the sound of silence and sometimes being alone Please understand that this can be really annoying but you’ll know deep down that’s my way of loving.
Like a Neil Young’s song you’ll feel that I’m “Like a Hurricane”, there is calm inside me, but outside I’ll eventually try blow you away. About this all I have to say is “Hold on with all your strenghts, please. I don’t want to lose you. Never ever ever.” You’ll see in my eyes that I’m all into you and that our souls are bound and it won’t be like it’s always been. All I ask is LOTS of pacience.
I know I’ll find you in time. Util then, we shall live our lives and experiences that will led us to this final moment.
See you in dreams.
Day 4 - How often do you still think about your First Love? (Late again).
This question sounds a little bit strange to me. I don’t think about my first love as the “sweetest thing that ever hapened to me” or “since them I feel deeply sad”, or keep rethinking of “how would it be”, at least it’s being many many years I don’t.
At a youger age (not that I’m that old) I focused lots of precious time and energy going after first, seconds, thrird loves till I came to the conclusion that bsides everything and all things we went through, still have to look back. Not in the way you wish things were different of “ifs and thats”.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s interesting and funny when we “wander back” and re-unveal/recover memories from our past, ou expectations and dreams. It might also be painful revisiting old scars in our hearts, but all that happened had it’s reasons.
All my firsts, seconds till the lasts loves were pretty flowers: had their own perfume, their own color, their own touch and also their own throns. Some were poisonous and dangerous, others unreachables and others really sweet and kind, even when I did not deserve. But each one, with their own nature taught me and modeled me into what I am now, and yet I’m still incomplet and not even close to perfection. Sweet and Bitter lessons I’ll carry on all my life, for each one was my first and last love in each of their times, in a certain moment, of my life time, and those memories are safely kept in my garden for eternity.
Yet there are other wild flowers. I just hope I dont hurt myself or any of them till I find the most precious one, the last first love.
A Day 3 - What do you see when you look in the Mirror? (Late answere).
I see many faces reflecting the same me. Multifaced like a dice of randomness, and caoticness. A contrast of what I am and what I want/wish to be. Of the dreams of mine that came true, those that are yet to come and those my hopes are about to be lost.
Many worries about the future I can’t even plan a single trip alone or hold on to a serious commitment. I see a stubborn and selfish guy who won’t let anyone in deeply to really know him even thought he deeply wants someone to.
“Happiness is only real, when shared” once wrote Alexander Supertramp in the movie “Into the Wild”. His conclusions are true. Sharing is important even for loners. I see someone who wants to be understood, embraced and soul-linked to a simple, open-minded, and cheerful person. Someone I can trust to share my happiness and feelings and break all these walls and barriers just with a smile.
I see a moonlight-howler, free-spirited, peace-lover, dreamer, utopic, idealist young artist wishing go on an adventure that he is too afraid and uncertain to take part in.
Even though I see deep down somewhere in my heart a small yet powerfull light. The strength and power of will to unleash my bright side. I’m a dreamer whose imagination, creativity, ideas and thoughts will overthrone my cowardice and fears and reveal his other faces of joy, selfrespect and love.
Day 2 - What seems to be the Issue? Tell us where it Hurts?
So, about these questions, I guess this imagem can sum up a few things:
Sometimes I think I am… distant from everything. People I like, from my family, even in relationships… there are really really few people (if any) that I can really trust and open up. Feels like being kind and funny and doing/talking about interesting stuff isn’t enought to catch people’s atention, and it is true they feel me distant.
Deep thoughts about my purpose in this life constantly flow in my mind. Not that I think I’m special and unique, and that everyone needs to like me. The biggest issue might be finding someone that can read deep into my soul and thoughts, but mostly, someone I can trust to let in and see all my constellations. Seem my “Lonerism” don’t want anyone to look inside my head, and this can really hurt sometimes. Maybe that’s why I feel so hollow and sad sometimes.